


Solved

by wordsbykaly



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Accident, Angst, Death, F/M, Fluff, Letter, Memories, Moving On, One Shot, Remember, Sungjin, What-If, almost, park sungjin - Freeform, photograph, what if
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:26:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22646374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordsbykaly/pseuds/wordsbykaly
Summary: Photos never did him justice but it only takes one to get the words spilling from my heart, hoping they would reach him.
Relationships: Park Sungjin/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	Solved

Hi, love. It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?

I know I said I wouldn’t write to you anymore but some things happened today that made me think of you. It’s a funny story, actually.

I think back to earlier this evening when it was time for Minho to leave. After spending the day helping me pack up my things for when it was time to move in to our new home, his hair was mussed up and his sweater felt dusty to my hands. His normally cheerful smile was nowhere; instead, his mouth is set hard in thought. I wished I could go back to my room and look for his smile – maybe it got buried beneath the boxes? – but I didn’t say anything. He kissed me good night, eyes clouded with doubt and uncertainty, and all I could do was wait for him to sigh the thoughts he bottled up.

“Stop looking at me like that,” he said with a laugh, turning his eyes to everything except mine.

“Like what?” I probed, snatching his hand and giving it a little squeeze of comfort. He gripped it tightly and squeezed back, a reflex.

“Like you’re worried. I’m fine, Lin, seriously.”

“And since when did you become a good liar?” I read his face for any sign of surrender but his features were taut and stubborn, a glaring contrast to the hesitation set in his gaze. “But if you don’t want to tell me, it’s fine. I trust you, Minho.”

He considered me then – me and my disheveled hair, my stained ratty shirt I hadn’t changed out of since yesterday, my chipped hot pink nail polish – and sighed. “I trust you, too, Lin.” He reached into his coat pocket and put something on my free hand. The cool surface brushed against my palm but the question died on my lips as he said, “I… saw this when we were packing away your scrapbooks.” He watched me with a guarded but curious look. “You might want to keep this. I know he was really important to you.”

Now, a few hours later, I’m back at my room, still staring at the photo he gave me.

_We meet again, Park Sungjin_ , I think as my eyes trace all the details I’ve long memorized.

Photos never did you justice, love. How can a photograph ever capture the sparkle in your eyes that rivaled the stars in the sky? The way your lips cracked into a smile that made every girl wish she had the chance to bring that magic into the world? The way your hands – so strong, calloused, and gentle – cradled mine like I was your most precious thing, your most beloved person?

It is all too easy to remember when I was, love.

You’d take me on random food trips even in the middle of the night, and we’d eat all sorts of things we’d love or hate, laughing at the after taste that we’d try to burn away with alcohol. You’d sit with me in the library even when I took hours to get my work done, holding my hand when I got stressed and reading my papers to remind me that my words still made sense even if my brain couldn’t process them anymore. You’d lie with me and whisper songs and melodies so beautiful that when I closed my eyes, I could forget about the sorrows in my heart. Because how could I feel misery when the greatest happiness I’ve ever known is right beside me?

Every moment with you – even our fights and spats, our disagreements and misunderstandings – were made beautiful by the fact that we chose each other in every moment of every day we spent loving each other. You were my most precious thing, my most beloved person, as much as I was yours, love.

_Was_. The keyword is always _was_. Because as easy as it is to remember when I was yours, it is even easier to remember when I stopped being yours.

On most days, I would forget that you left. I’d line up at our favorite food stall and buy double portions even if you weren’t there to share them with me. I would bring up your number whenever it’s dark and I got lost even if you wouldn’t be there to take me home. I would pick up your guitar with a song on my lips even if you wouldn’t be there to sing with me. I would reach out to take your hand even if it wouldn’t be there for me to hold.

It was months and months of lying in bed and counting the fissures that ran through my ceiling, wishing it was just as easy to count the cracks of my shattered heart. Of putting all of the things that reminded me of you in a box to hide, only for me to wake up in the middle of the night to cry over every pick you gave me, every movie ticket we kept, and every moment you wanted to treasure forever.

This photo in my hands was one of them, taken on the day you told me you wanted to marry me. You hid the ring in one of the balloons but forgot which one, so you made a show of popping each one of them until the ring fell out and landed by my feet. It wasn’t exactly how I pictured saying yes to you, but it didn’t matter. Not when a few days later, a single phone call dashed my hopes of being Mrs. Park Sungjin.

But that was years ago, love. Now, I can eat outside without feeling a pang in my chest. My friends have stopped throwing their nervous looks whenever a band would play at our local bar. Guitarists stopped looking like you, and their notes and strums do not hurt as much as they used to. I see your sister on the weekends whenever I volunteer at church; somehow, we’d find ourselves together when we visited your grave, offering the same flowers you would buy for me whenever I was sad.

Looking at your photo now, I can remember all the sadness and all the pain, but those are not the emotions you would want me to feel, are they? You who only want what’s best for me, even if it can’t be you anymore.

And what’s best for me – who’s best for me – is Minho. My Minho who loves me with his entire heart, who never fails to make me feel as loved as the stars in the sky. Whenever I look at Minho, I don’t see our plans and hopes and all that we could’ve been. I just see Minho, the only person I can trust to take care of my heart just as well as you did. And I’m lucky that despite my flaws and imperfections, despite the hurt that still resides in my heart and all the pain that time could not erase, he still sees someone worth loving until all our days run out.

I know that you are happy for me somewhere in heaven, love. I hope you know that even if I’ll love Minho with every piece of me, ours will still be a love story carved in the stone of my memories. And I hope you’ll forgive me if I leave this photo here at home. I don’t need it anymore, love, because you’re always with me, aren’t you?

Until the next goodbye,

Lin

**Author's Note:**

> I originally posted this on Twitter (@pilspecial) but I thought it would be nice to also share it on AO3. It succeeds another Sungjin one shot (a socmed au in Filipino and English) but you don't have to read that one to understand the events in this story.
> 
> Please comment your thoughts! I would greatly appreciate the feedback. Thank you!!


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